Incontinent? Yes. Confident? You betcha.

I'm not the type who makes excuses, who looks for scapegoats. I don't whine about the hand I was dealt, even when the nature of my hand involves regularly messing myself with my own waste. Am I incontinent? Yes. Am I still confident? You betcha.

It's true, there are not many twenty-six year-olds who are clinically incontinent. And yes, it's also true that my incontinence may from time to time make my life more complicated than were I a twenty-six year-old who did posses some control over his bowels. But it's like my mother always told me: People just want...people just...OK, would you please excuse me for a moment?

Sorry about that. Where was I? People just want to do the best they can, that's it. And that's how I look at things. Life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. And if life gives you a bladder the size of a peanut M&M, then you...you...whew, OK just two seconds, if I may. Be right - oh God...

I may be irregular, but I'm still a regular guy. I like going to baseball games. Sure, I may not usually be able to get through whole innings at a time, or the top/bottom of an inning for that matter, but it's still a fun day at the ballpark for me. Or I can have a ball just hanging out at home and playing a game with my friends. Just no Monopoly. Or Risk. Tic-tac-toe is good.

Basically, the thing about me is...oh Jesus I knew I shouldn't have had coffee...just...just wait, please.

Like I was saying, oh...oh no...no, don't look at that. I'm going to have to get back to...oh...OK 'til later then!