Celebrity Pickup Lines*

*Stray Cooper is not a celebrity. Yet.

Will Smith

You know, I was in "Pursuit of Happiness." Now I'm in pursuit of something better: you.

Suge Knight

Hey girl, I'm the man who suspended Vanilla Ice over a fourteen-story railing. I want your number. Now.

Ray Romano

They say everybody loves me, and whether you know it already or not, that includes you.

Suge Knight

I love that perfume. It takes me back some. She's dead now, but what's your name?

Lance Armstrong

I'd give my left...eye...to get a date with you.

Suge Knight

Baby, I feel like I already know you. I bet you're the type of woman who already has a man and probably some shorties at home. I bet they're very important to you, even if sometimes you wonder if there was someone else for you out there. And I bet right now they've got about a dozen hard ass niggas surrounding them in your home in the hills and if you ever want to see them again you'll be coming back to my crib with me and watch you some "Air Bud: Golden Retriever" with me.

Did I mention there will be ice cream sandwiches?

Billy Joel

I've sung it thousands of times, but now I finally mean it: I love you just the way you are. I also love snuff films. Please describe to me your underwear.