They Should Make an Office Show Out of My Office!

Do you ever watch "The Office" on NBC? I just love that show! I watch it every Thursday - even when it's a replay. It's a very good show. I'm not the only one who thinks so, either: They made an office show in England after the one on NBC started taking off. I love "The Office" so much that I download it from iTunes and put it on my iPod, so that I can watch it at my office!

In fact, it was when I was at work watching part of an episode of "The Office" earlier this week when I had a great idea: "Hey! They should make an office show out of my office: The Boulder Abortion Clinic!"

Just like Dunder Mifflin, we've got lots of zany characters at the Boulder Abortion Clinic. There's our head doctor, Dr. Bernstein - he could be like the Michael Scott. Remember the "Office" episode from Season One, where Katy ("The Hot Girl") comes to the office to sell purses and Michael tries really hard to flirt with her? They should make an episode like that for our office, only it would be Dr. Bernstein hitting on a really hot girl who came in for an abortion. "Say, if you're not doing anything after this, do you want to get a snow cone?" I can really see him doing that!

Then there's Dr. Lenham, who is just like Dwight - always sucking up to his boss. Remember the episode where Dwight drives to pick up Michael after he burns his foot in a George Foreman Grill? Dr. Lenham is always doing stuff like that to kiss Dr. Bernstein's butt. "Yes, Dr. Bernstein, I've finished my morning appointments. I can cover for you this time." What a tool! All he needs is a bobble-head and then we have our Dwight.

Did I mention we have a really cute receptionist? Her name is Stacy, and if you ask me, she's even prettier than Pam. Also, she's quiet and a little reserved, but deep down she's probably really funny. She even has a boyfriend, too, just like Pam. Only on "The Office," there's a love triangle between the receptionist, her fiancée, and a coworker who would be perfect for her. So I guess that's something our office doesn't have.

Oh wait, turns out love is blooming at the Boulder Abortion Clinic!

I really connect with Stacy more than anybody else here, so I'm really the Jim of our office show. Stacy's been with Jerry for two years now (I think), but I can tell that she's not really happy with him. The wedding is next week, but I'll bet that she calls it off so that she can be with the sweetest, funniest guy at the Boulder Abortion Clinic: Me!

I'm a big prankster, just like Jim is. Last month, I glued all of Dr. Lenham's forceps together with crazy glue. (Boy, the abortions sure went slow that day!) He deserved it. He's such a creep. Anyways, I do funny stuff like that all the time. Like this one time, I went through Stacy's reservation book and whited out all of the names and replaced them with "Stacy". When she saw the book, I said, "So Stacy, you got any upcoming plans? Maybe something along the lines of, oh I don't know, seventy-two abortions?" You should've seen the look on her face! Man, I'm way funnier than that Jerry guy probably is.

I'm still not sure what to call our office show. I was thinking "The Clinic." Or maybe "The Abortion Office". But that one might sound too much like "The Office". People might get confused.

Oh and we've got a black guy, too! He could be Stanley!