Hey there. My name's Rick. Mind if I sit here and try to get you drunk in the seventeen minutes before last call?

So what's your name? Oh cool. I have a cousin named "Lauren." That's crazy! Well, we've got to drink to that. Hey Sam! A B-52 for my new friend, Karen.

So Karen, where do you come from? Ah, so an Ithaca girl, huh? I've got family in Poughkepsie. Sam! Bring me a Long Island Ice Tea with that B-52.

That dance floor is looking pretty fun, huh? Shall we mosey on over there? OK, great! Real quick, though, let's do these vodka shots to loosen up a little bit. One...two...three...go! Whewww weee! That burns! OK, let's do one more vodka shot and then I'll be ready to dance. One twoshoot! Oh ho, careful there. You spilled a little. Here, drink mine. Alright now we'll...well, actually, I don't really like dancing anyways.

I know! We'll play a drinking game. OK, I'm thinking of a number between one and ten: guess what it is. Ooo, sorry. It was nine. That means you have to drink four beers. I'll just get you a pitcher. Sammy! Pitcher of Old Style, on the double. So, where did you go to school? Uh huh. Uh huh. Uh huh. Oh look! Here's your pitcher. Please, allow me. There you are, Karen. Well, drink up!

Haha! Got you. Simon didn't say. Now you have to drink whiskey. Here, I've got some in this flask.

You said that you studied English Lit? What was your concentration? Uh huh. Yeah. Totally. Man, poetry is so awesome. Don't forget to drink your beer.

Say, are you feeling all right? You look like you might want some water. Here, have mine. That's better, isn't it? What? It was vodka? Oh yeah it was vodka. Now I remember. Man, my bad. Hey Sammy, please some tonic water. And, uh, Sammy: utpay omesay injay inay the onictay. Omprendecay?

Last call already? Man that flew by. I can't believe how much you drank! You are totally...um, actually you look fine. How is that...where are you going? Hey, wait! Do you want a breath freshener? I have a film canister of irregularly shaped Tic Tacs. Can I at least get your number? I'll buy drinks for you tomorrow too!