Ideas to Make "Lost" Stay on the Air Much Longer Than It Already Doesn't Need To

When in Season Four the Others descend upon the crash survivors' camp site, they bring with them what no one else expected: Tacky Prom. Who will Jack vote for in the Tacky Prom Prom Queen contest: Juliet, or Kate? When Hurley adds up The Numbers, will they give him the exact sum of jelly beans in the jar for the Guess-A-Bean contest? And can Charlie reunite DriveShaft with enough time to convince Aerosmith, the Tacky Prom headliners, to let Charlie's band open for them?

In a Season Five shocker, Sayid comes out as a homosexual...and a robot. And you can bet your bottom dollar that Sayid is the sassiest gay robot you've ever seen!

Halfway through Season Six Claire discovers a hidden factory on the island, but she is denied access. Who can get in? Only five people: whoever's the first to find the five golden tickets hidden in Wonka Bars from all over the island!

We finally learn the truth behind the Dharma Initiative in Season Seven: They're Neo-Nazis. Too bad for them, the island's got a secret of its own: Neo-Indiana Jones.

Two words for Season Eight: More raptors.

Season Nine: More rappers. ("Yo Luda, how the fuck you steer us from Australia all the fuckin way off course to this broke-ass island?" "OK Cee-Lo, ya fat bastard, why don't you chill. The fuck. Out.")

In Season Ten, gay robot Sayid uses his own mechanics to turn himself into a high-frequency radio. Within days, they're able to hail a helicopter piloted by....NBA star Kobe Bryant! There is much rejoicing on the island, until Kobe Bryant reveals that he is only going to rescue Ludacris and Cee-Lo: "Every other Black person on this show either gets killed or turns out to be a traitor. You white bastards can rot here for all I care."

By Season Eleven, the original survivors, the Others, and the Raptors have all joined forces against a common enemy: Mutant Stay Puft Marshmallow Hurley, who in addition to mutating into a sixty-foot tall monster made of marshmallow also turns out to be gay robot Sayid's robot father. And he's gay.